“If you’re pretty, you’re pretty; but the only way to be beautiful is to be loving. Otherwise, it’s just: “congratulations about your face”.
John Mayer.
Hello, young Padawan
Today we will try to keep it short but effective, and you know me, it will not be obvious, lol.
I’ll explain why, in the street or when I post a (rare) photo of my face on Instagram, for example, I always feel uncomfortable when someone tells me that I am pretty or I get complimented on my appearance because, in fact, that is not the goal, we will see it below. Younger, dressed in my biggest coat of hypocrisy, I pretended to be flattered to be like the others; today, when I am told that, I answer that everyone has a beautiful smile, that everyone is beautiful, etc.
Let’s go for a little waltz against the tide as I like to practice it, a little perspective on this society of appearing which does not give a damn about being anymore. Too bad, that was the most interesting part.
Mourning the ego
This bullshit begins somewhere between late childhood and early teens, randomly from magazine pages showing aliens of ridiculous proportions. We must then accept that we will never be like our neighbor because we are unique, rather than saying that we are zero because we do not have the same body as Claudia Schiffer or Arnold Schwarzenegger – we must accept that the reality we are shown, this tantalizing fantasy is a pure chimera.
Indeed, the magazine photos are all retouched. Instagram photos, even worse, are transformed beyond reality. So much so that many hardly recognize these virtual people on the street. Even though we all know it already, it is important to remember it.
Does not being 100% what you expected makes you ugly? Yes, if your goal is to be an avatar, no, if you have grieved that crazy dream of wanting to live up to an unattainable dream. You are unique, of course, and you are beautiful, like everyone else. Beauty is not a scarce commodity. Period.
So what, a rather strong nose, baldness, insufficiently drawn arms, or strabismus would make you someone to put away in the back of a cupboard with an “ugly” label on the forehead? I say no. I say no because, for the record, Claudia and Paris Hilton both have very large feet, lol. I say no because I have never fantasized about Brad Pitt, whereas on the contrary if I had lived during Serge Gainsbourg’s time I would have slept on the first night. I think that many of us do not fall in love with a physique, but with an aura, a charisma, a personality, in other words, a being. I would never blush in front of a cooked mold IQ Apollo, while a broken face with sarcastic humor or a guy with crazy general culture, there you can buy the rings and throw the rice!
Then, regarding the comments on the photos of people we don’t know or people in the street – beware of stinging truth-moment: We only feel flattered by people we consider “above” us. It’s human; it’s our ego that works like this.
Quick, an example before I get canceled, lol: Do you feel flattered when someone you find downright stupid compliments you on your intelligence? Do you blush when someone not funny at all compliments you on your humor? That’s the truth, dear padawan. We don’t feel flattered because we don’t give a damn that a stranger in a 1996 Fiat Punto compliments us on our new car. On the other hand, we would if, for example, a guy in a Lamborghini told us that the color of our car is hot. This is how we are human, mourning the ego, yes, but with its limits.
Self-acceptance
Never forget one thing: Finding someone beautiful is totally subjective; on the other hand, it’s just someone who compliments you on your face. You were born like this; no one can do anything about it. So why say or think anything, positive or negative about the appearance of others? We are not responsible for the face we have; on the other hand, we are totally responsible for the face we make. And that changes everything, absolutely everything.
A comely face, illuminated by a smile and sparkling eyes, breathing intelligence and good feelings will always attract more than the most beautiful sulking girl or the most handsome pretentious guy. Humor also has this magical charm that makes us charismatic.
Thus, being goes beyond appearing.
So rather than saying to others, “congratulations on your face,” could we rather launch a new fashion, which would make “Claudia Nonymous” as successful as Claudia Schiffer? In an Anglo-Saxon way, which would consist in saying to each other: “hey, I like your sneakers” and see if the opening on an NBA dialogue mode works well to hit on girls, or an “I love the color of your blush “, which would compliment both the tastes of the person, and start a discussion on makeup and lead to a new friendship, or humor, always humor, I love when friends write a “still as white as an ass” on a photo of my face, or a “but where is the self-tanner fashion anymore?” …
I notice the beginnings of this fashion here and there and rejoice over it because many of us do not post pictures of them to have compliments, but simply because they consider the picture nice, funny, whether it immortalizes an event, or so that people can simply see what we look like – which is my motivation to show my face on social media so that the Padawans put a face on this blog. Then, finally, there are photographic portraits with an original composition, a well-mastered framing, and interesting colors. We do not tell the model that they are beautiful; we are only interested in the beauty of the photograph.
Thus, art goes beyond ego.
Not all of us claim attention – or the cancellation of our frustrations and uncertainties by the validation of others. A lot of us are just relaxed, with our flaws, our imperfections, in short, our humanity. So let’s chill, we are all beautiful. You are beautiful; whether you are Robert from Connecticut, Redford, or Pattinson, you have the same value, two arms, two legs, and a brain… at least, we hope so, lol.
Goodbye to ego, welcome to the power of the mind. Let’s cultivate love, compassion, humor, the original little touch that hits the mark to win a smile to the one in front of us; because in the end, we are all beautiful when we smile.
So much for today, dear Padawan, and bottle in the sea so that those who can only see themselves through the eyes of others can awaken to a more joyful world; one where humor has more value than a chest size, one where culture has more interest than a protruding pectoral, one where being has more value than appearing.
XO 😉
Eastern Market, Detroit, Michigan, USA.