« Happiness is not in the search for perfection but in the tolerance of imperfection.»
Yacine Bellik
Hello, young Padawan
With this society that elevates us into mortifying and deadly individualism, we have lost something essential. Something that keeps us away from others and prevents us from making friends, lovers, and getting along well with our other fellow humans.
In front of so much sadness, in front of so much loneliness, lost people in relational codes, I think it might be useful to talk about it here.
First of all, and sorry to do my guy dressed all in white with a halo on top of the head, but it’s in the tone: we are all equal.
I do not talk about a Hannibal Lecter or another psychopath who would slice you carotid just like that for laugh, but about just the different guy, tattooed everywhere with beard and strange hairdo, which don’t worth less than you, the shaved and perfect hair guy; just like the old man who gets you angry because he takes the roundabout for a stop, and even your tax inspector, except his job, is a good guy. But we each have our education, our codes, our values, our principles, and, unfortunately, we each have our own one.
Time to relational decoding in the 21st century, or how to recreate a link between us.
Being nice towards others
Which, does not mean being a dork who says yes to everything. It’s about learning how to welcome others with kindness, altruism, and sympathy. A smile never kills anyone, neither listening.
We have everything to gain. The more we open ourselves to people from different backgrounds, the more we learn. Indeed, it was when I met an old gentleman who had started playing the saxophone at age 54 that I decided, adult, learning the piano even if I thought it was too late. Thanks to him, today, I accompany myself singing for the greatest dismay of your ears.
Sometimes, meeting different people from us makes us grow and brings a little philosophy to our lives. Indeed, a different way of thinking is always rewarding, so let’s be tolerant with the guy with his old clothes too loose, with the punk girl you think a little haughty, the 50 years old guy with the immature look, wearing a cap and a skate, and the lady who looks a little silly because she smiles all the time. All these people have to teach us, as we can teach them, let’s be tolerant, to give us the opportunity to know each other.
Be nice to oneself
You dreamed of being a fighter pilot when you were little, and today you are sorry because you are “only” accountant? First, to be an accountant, you must at least be intelligent and have a logical mind. And to be a pilot, These qualities are also required so you can be proud of it. Then you have two solutions, or you say yourself that being accountant is sexy and you are happy because you are more often at home to enjoy your family and life, or you decide to resume your studies to become a pilot, a fighter or a line one depending on your age, or why not become an accountant in aeronautics!
You did not succeed in your career as an international actor, certainly, but you married the woman of your life and you like your job anyway.
You never married, and it was your dream? You have the chance to have great friends, a second family for you, and you love the city in which you live, a city for which you had to move and change jobs, great challenge, succeeded hands down!
To be tolerant is also to see oneself with real eyes, those who see the beautiful things you have accomplished. Stop mourning what your life could have been, it is great, the way it is, or challenge yourself.
There are too few moments where you allow yourself to be proud of you, yet there are so many reasons. By modesty or fear of passing for someone narcissistic, we know how to blame us a thousand and one faults, missteps, missed, but it is rare to look in the mirror at night saying to oneself, “bravo Paolo, you were great tonight going at the laundry before closing! ” And yes, with the traffic jam, it was indeed a feat!
Praise of laziness
Your faithful servant is almost hyperactive. A person who could not put her ass on a chair to read a book as long as the house was not perfectly arranged, the professional mailbox updated, etc.
Even though I start to chill a little, while I did not answer all my emails, or not tidy my papers. It may seem ridiculous to you, but there was a time when I ironed sheets at ten o’clock in the evening, or I cooked for the next day at 11pm.
There was a time when, for me, the fatigue was only something to push back, to be even more productive. Accelerate time, at the risk of leaving my health. I was very lucky; I know people who have had the same pace and who finished in burn out, or worse. But one learns from one’s mistakes.
To be tolerant with oneself and others also mean to be rested, yes rested, the thing that should not be talked about in society. Indeed, we can’t afford to judge the one who can’t follow our rhythm because we do not all have the same possibilities. Then, allowing ourselves lounging on the couch, or getting a little nap does not make us shameful or lazy, it makes us smart people who have understood the greatest value of life: health.
Once again, my dear Padawan, if you no longer have health, you have nothing left, goodbye to your plans. So yes, don’t forget to nap, watch movies, long live on Sunday afternoons, as gray as our plaid in which we bask and please: without guilt. You had to go to the sport, or I do not know where, and you are really tired? Stay in your bed and watch a good movie.
Imagine
Imagine a world where we would all be nice to each other, all tolerant. Did not Gertrude come to work today? So what. The lady in the subway is wearing a mini skirt and a very bright makeup? it’s her deal, not yours. Why always want to impose our culture, our values and our principles on others. Seriously, if you want to walk in the street in a flamingo costume with a feather in the ass, that’s ok, in any case, you should be greeted in the same way as one who has sweet pants or a suit-tie.
If you expect respect from your peers, not to be judged by others, there is only one way: to lead by example. It’s up to you to behave as you wish others to be with you. We are a reflection of the society we want. We do not care about others who need to lower ourselves to have a semblance of self-esteem.
To all of us here, let’s start the fabulous chain of positivity. Have you always found it boring on Facebook, that if you do not transfer to ten friends, you will rot in hell, burned beforehand in a bath of boiling olive oil? (olive oil is better, ed). Let’s today pass the message to the greatest number, except that we have everything to gain: The evolution of humanity was made by the intelligence of sharing and mutual help; all the rest makes us regress.
Sharing and caring is the essence of our future. Be the individual you want to meet in the street, be the friend you’ve never had, wear with pride the tolerance you have for others, and the world will be better.
Be proud to be a good buddy, be proud of yourself.
Peace and love. ✨
Annecy, Haute-Savoie, France.